Friends

I basically spent all day sleeping because I got up with a headache still sleepy, and when I thought I'd managed to get enough sleep, I basically fell back to sleep while using the powder room, so went back to bed. I'm still yawning a bit. Fortunately, my headache seems to have been cured by chocolate cake.

I hate it when I open a book and realize it's one I've read before, especially one I read relatively recently. It's always a bit of a let-down to reach the end of a series, too. I know there are other good space marines books out there, but none with Torin Kerr, and none with Tanya Huff's particular brand of humor. Certainly none with the di'Taykan (the "most undescriminately enthusiastic life forms in the known galaxy.").

Guess the only thing to do is find another few good books to read, maybe go back and read something entirely different.

Fortunately, I seem to have slept better last night.

I finished Heart of Valor and now look forward to reading Valor's Trial. The plot as outlined in the dust jacket seems fairly trite, but I've learned I can trust Tanya Huff to bring her own perspective and sense of humor to it and make it worth reading. I'm a little bummed that I had to get it in hardcover, because it won't fit in my purse like a softcover, but ah, well.

Class last night went much better.  I don't know if getting there 40 minutes early and walking him nearly the entire time before class helped or not.  He did get to do some sniffing with the other dogs during class and got to go through an agility tunnel a few times.  

I can't think of anything I did today that would make me tired but I'm so sleepy right now I can barely keep my eyes open. 

If anyone here follows the BPAL swap world can you let me know if any Neo-Tokyo is offered anywhere?  I'm really bummed and also maybe a bit miffed that they discontinued the scent.  That's one of my biggest peeves with that company, you finally find one you like and they stop making it which then causes you to have to spend an arm and a leg to buy it through other means.  There just doesn't seem to be much stability in their product line.  Blah.  I don't have patience for that company anymore.

You all know who you are!

Please give me info on the following:

Asian stores in the area
Colleges with a nursing school (because Google fails at delivering any real information specific to the area on that) aside from University of Portland
Information about the OHP
What to expect weather wise
What neighborhoods to avoid renting a place in

Rent info I found easily in Craigslist and I weep at what I could be living in as opposed to my tiny, cramped, overpriced San Diego apartment. Depending on cost crunches, I may end up there sooner than I anticipated.

At this point I'm narrowing it down to Portland vs. the SeaTac area. CA is not currently an option, even though this is my home state. I'm itching to get out of here, wanderlust has kicked in badly and the fact that my eligibility status to transfer to SDSU (or any local Cal State for that matter) has been shut down for 2009-2010 due to state budget cuts, yeah... not much keeping me here anymore.

I've even considered moving back to the god foresaken state of AZ to finish nursing there, but they've got a year long wait list and their rent is just about as pricey as Sandy Eggo. So yeah, not moving back to hell just to be in a similar situation.

Tempted to move back East also, but I want to be closer to my parents, especially with my Dad and all his health scares lately. Yeah, I want to be within reasonable driving distance.

Thanks guys :)

P.S. Happy Birthday to mariahgem!

Weird dream... boils down to "WTH was I doing in a candy machine anyway?"

I couldn't seem to sleep halfway decently for the life of me last night. I think part of it was that it was warmer than usual. Regardless, I ended up sleeping until about 11. I'm not really horribly tired now that I'm up, which is good, but unfortunately, my shoulders hurt, so I was sleeping wrong.

And since I've been up for less than an hour and a half, there ain't nuthin else.

Uh oh, I guess the building wasn't barricaded enough, because I've been turned into a zombie. I'm hanging around a cemetery hoping that someone with revivify me.

First, a sentence in Heart of Valor by andpuff a.k.a. Tanya Huff. "The pins were Marine-resistant, but very few things were built to be Marine-proof." My immediate mental comment was "Nothing is Gunny-proof, given a sufficiently motivated Gunny." Then it occured to me that Gunnery Sergeants basically come pre-motivated. *snrk* I also have to enjoy the general Marine opinion that the Naval personnel can't find their ass (singular or collective) with both hands and a homing beacon. I'm sure if you asked a Marine today, they'd tell you that Naval personnel can't find their ass (singular or collective) with both hands and a GPS.

Second, in a comment elsewhere, someone linked to BettyBeauty.com and I instantly became far too giggly for my own good, especially once I started sharing.

I'm reading the hardcover of The Rule of Four because it's been on my TBR pile for years so why buy the paperback? I'm nearly through Chapter 10 and while about two hours of Good Friday have passed since the first line of the book and really nothing other than a break-in has happened... I'm loving it.

 Huffington Post has the story, HHS has a proposal to formally state that birth control pills are a form of abortion, this would lay the groundwork for cutting off all sorts of aid.

And just a decade ago people mocked me when I said that the anti-choicers were after birth control as well as abortion.

Okay....I know I bitch about this town a lot, but its been a wild week so far. (Ha! I so punny)

First yesterday, an african lion start wandering around the neighborhood. After officials fail to find it, they call off the search, declaring "eh...must have been a dog...or something"

http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/jul/14/lion-loose-near-springs/

Michael Seraphin, spokesman for the Colorado Division of Wildlife, said photos taken by two residents and tracks found by state Division of Wildlife officers confirmed the animal is an African lion and not a cougar.

Then this morning, a bear walks into the door at the local Circuit City. Now, this location is in one of the busiest parts of town, (So busy, we avoid it like the plague), so to see a bear wandering around is definitely something unusual. Maybe he wanted a new iPod.

Link with hilarious surveillance video:

http://www.kktv.com/home/headlines/25462514.html#

Tubal is done!  I'm sore, medicated, but happy and looking forward to celebrating with a beer this weekend.

My doctor (the one who quoted Monty Python to me when she approved me for the procedure) thought it was terribly cool to be getting this done on Bastille Day.  =p

I was inspired by the post of an acquaintance that gave her mid-year tally. It's a bit interesting to look at the numbers even though some of them are fuzzy. If I'm going to do this at the end of the year I really should keep better track of these things, shouldn't I?

Here it is:

• read 7 books


• saw 58 movies


• wrote 5 book reviews


• wrote 2 poems


• wrote 35 short stories (mainly first drafts)

As you can imagine, I find the number of books I've read appalling. On the downside, I haven't been keeping track of them so I'm pretty sure it's more than that but I don't seem to have a way to find this out. Only one of the two libraries I use keep track of what has been checked out and of course the library I use the least has this information.

So what have I done since tallying the numbers? I've read another book and am well on my way to finishing two more. :)

As in the knights who say. Or something.

Nothing goin' on here. Though I'm now grumpy at Time Warner Cable's advertising. Boston Market commercials are mean. Nearest one's in Austin, an hour and a half away. They're not as mean as Ruby Tuesday commercials. Nearest one of those is in either Dallas or Houston. Ebilness.

Mid-weekday TV is such a wasteland. *Wrinkles nose*

I was a dumdum and put off doing laundry, so no going anywhere until I get it through the dryer. Oops. Heh.

Wallace Shawn as a shrink. Yeeeah.

Well John McCain has announced he is not in favor of allowing gay people to adopt children.

In other news, he does not use now and has no plans to use email. He is learning how to get online, but still requires help.

I was just listening to a show on NPR about science and they had one of these right wing chuckleheads call in who doesn't believe in global warming, evolution, that cigarettes cause cancer, and that the earth is round. What I noticed was he kept up this consistent snide chuckling. You see, he knows. And these no good silly egg heads don't. He knows. He's figured it all out. Chuckle chuckle chuckle. Smug smug smug. God. I hate the proud to be ignorant.

It's been announced that the 2010 census will not count same sex households correctly. Instead, it will based on several criteria automatically falsify the data.

If a couple is married and the census sees that the other adult member of the household is the same sex, it will automatically unmarry them, falsifying their responses to state that they are an unmarried couple. It will have no place at all for the no man's land of civil unions.

Ugh, I'm awake, but certainly not rested. In the middle of the night at 1:30 the smoke alarm starts to go off. We get up and there's, surprisingly, no smoke. We search the house and nothing. It's pouring outside though, the temperature isn't down at all, and we think it was humidity setting it off. In any case it didn't go off again, but it did ruin our sleep.

Some say the world will end in fire
Some say in ice
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire
But if it had to perish twice
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice

~ Robert Frost

This weekend has been pleasant.

Our DirecTV was cutting out on the HD channels, which was making me cringe. Some of their installers are great. And some of them are just complete idiots. Thankfully, we got the same good one that put it in and he set it right. I really was afraid that the trees had grown too much. Just let us get enough out of this until FIOS gets here or we moved to a new place where we can get a better LOS.

Friday night we watched the newest Bourdain. This was in Laos. He made a comment that I understood immediately to the effect that you knew you were in Southeast Asia the minute you stepped off the plane. Janna made a suggestion that we check out this little Pho place that we've driven by for the past few, well years. It's in a converted clam shack. Tiny. OMG it was insanely good. I've had Pho and Thai noodles a few times, but nothing nearly as good as this. I also tried it with the various oddities, including tripe and deep cooked tendon. I'd never had either, well at least not tendeon cooked intentionally. It was soft, a little like a gummy bear, and tasted of fat. The tripe was rather like calamari, only meaty rather than fish, but not particularly strong.

The place itself was so not Cape Cod it wasn't funny. It's obviously family run because they were there watching some action movie on a tv in the corner. The kids playing with a puzzle. There were two Asian families there eating and a tourist family. I get the impression they don't get a lot of Anglos particularly locals. But we'll certainly be going back there soon enough.

Afterwards was a nice evening. Camp started in SL and I'm having a good time so far. At last I would if it stopped crashing :)

Just a pleasant weekend.

The Wii won out for now. It'll last my family longer than the 3 day Disney stay.

$550 later there are boxes all over my living room, and I am the current reigning champion for Guitar Hero 3 among the guys and I. However, I still was pissy that 2 days ago there were a bunch of Wii Fit games at Fry's and now they're all sold out. I'm going to be stalking all the stores next week during shipment day. I want a damn Wii Fit :P

Haulage:

Wii console bundle (Wii console, charger with rechargable batteries, sports pack, 1 remote, 1 nunchuck, 1 game -- SSBB of course)
Wii Play (with extra remote)
Extra nunchuck
Guitar Hero III - Legends of Rock

Next week I'll have a Wii Fit (crosses fingers) and probably Metroid Prime III - Corruption for the boys. I'll get a Mario Kart setup when they get back in stock, and I'll have to get a couple of extra wheels and remotes for that so it'll have to wait a couple of weeks. Next paycheck is devoted to paying utilities.

Back to the Wii. I'm getting my ass kicked by two prepubescent boys at Super Smash Brothers Brawl.

Codex from The Guild is in Dr. Horrible and she has DVD's of the guild out too!

www.watchtheguild.com

www.drhorrible.com

by David Michael Green

So. You've built yourself an empire, eh?

Well, bully for you!

What's next, you ask? Well, now you've got to do what everybody does when they have an empire, of course. You've got to worry about it falling apart, mate!

But how to tell for sure? Let me see if I can be helpful. Here are some rules of thumb to keep in mind, thirty-six sure-fire indicators that your empire is falling apart:

You know your empire's crumbling when the folks who are gearing up their empire to replace yours start blowing up satellites in space. And then they don't bother to return your phone calls when you ring up to ask why.

You know your empire's crumbling when those same folks are cutting deals left, right and center across Asia, Latin America and Africa, while you, your lousy terms, and your arrogant attitude are no longer welcome.

You know your empire's crumbling when you're spending your grandchildren's money like a drunken sailor, and letting your soon-to-be rivals finance your little splurge (i.e., letting them own your country).

You know your empire's crumbling when it's considered an achievement to pretend that you've halved the rate at which you're adding to the massive mountain of debt you've already accumulated.

You know your empire's crumbling when you weaken your currency until it looks as anemic as a Paris runway model, and you're still setting record trade deficits. (Hint: Because you're not making anything anymore.)

You know your empire's crumbling when "the little brown ones" (thank you George H.W. Bush - certainly not me - for that lovely expression) in country after country of "your backyard" blow you off and proudly elect anti-imperialist leftist governments.

You know your empire's crumbling when you can't topple those governments and replace them with nice puppet regimes - like in the good old days - even if you wanted to. And you badly want to.

You know your empire's crumbling when one of their leaders comes to the United Nations and makes fun of your emperor, calling him the devil, and joking about smelling sulphur where he just stood. And though a few folks cringe, everybody laughs.

You know your empire's crumbling when just about your entire military land force is tied up in a worse-than-useless war launched on the basis of complete fabrications, that every day is actually making you less - not more - secure from external threat.

You know your empire's crumbling when almost half the soldiers in that war are high-paid mercenaries, and you don't dare institute a draft.

You know your empire's crumbling when you send soldiers into war with two weeks training and a lack of armor, and then you keep them there for three, four and five rotations.

You know your empire's crumbling when a member of the Axis of Evil can test missiles and explode nuclear warheads, and all you can do about it is mumble some pathetic warnings about how they better not do that again or there will be consequences.

You know your empire's crumbling when you even think that there is an Axis of Evil.

You know your empire's crumbling when a rag-tag military hodge-podge of irregulars has you pinned down in an endless fight you can't win, but also can't lose.

You know your empire's crumbling when you're too dumb to even ban Humvees as a first step toward ending your dependency on a foreign-owned crucial resource.

You know your empire's crumbling when you trade your prior moral leadership on human rights issues for global disgust at your torture, 'extraordinary rendition' (a.k.a. kidnaping for torture) and the dismantling of nine centuries worth of civil liberties progress.

You know your empire's crumbling when you blow off international law that you once helped create, and undermine the institutions of international governance that you once helped build.

You know your empire's crumbling when opinion polls confirm that every month you're more and more despised throughout the world.

You know your empire's crumbling when you can't even pull off the hanging of a tin-pot murderous former dictator without turning him into a hero.

You know your empire's crumbling when you're the richest country in the world, but nearly 50 million of your people don't have basic health care coverage.

You know your empire's crumbling when the World Health Organization ranks your healthcare system 37th 'best' in the world, just above Slovenia, and just below Costa Rica. (And far below Colombia, Cyprus, Saudi Arabia and Morocco.)

You know your empire's crumbling when instead of making it easier for citizens to obtain a higher education, you're making it harder and more expensive.

You know your empire's crumbling when your government gives tax breaks to industries as a reward for exporting your jobs elsewhere.

You know your empire's crumbling when the so-called 'opposition' party can't even turn that obscenity into a viable campaign theme and use it to clobber the worst emperor in your history.

You know your empire's crumbling when your middle class has been stagnant for three decades, while the wealth of the hyper-rich continues to climb through the roof.

You know your empire's crumbling when your reaction to that is to exacerbate the problem by enacting tax policies that massively increase further still the gap between the rich and the rest.

You know your empire's crumbling when the predatory class has taken over your government and is stripping the country of everything not bolted down to the floor. And then it sells the floor itself, as well, to your rivals.

You know your empire's crumbling when you're spending tens of billions of dollars you don't own on new nuclear warheads and space weapons that don't work, to be used against an enemy you don't have.

You know your empire's crumbling when one of your cities drowns and your government does next to nothing before, during and after.

You know your empire's crumbling when a massive environmental nightmare is looming around the corner, and your emperor not only ignores it, but claims it isn't real while taking steps to exacerbate it.

You know your empire's crumbling when your emperor is warned by a CIA briefer of an imminent terrorist attack of vast proportions, and responds by remaining on vacation and dismissing the briefer with the words: "All right. You've covered your ass, now."

You know your empire's crumbling when the same emperor drops everything to fly across the country from his vacation home in order to sign a bill intervening on the wrong side of a personal medical drama involving a single family.

You know your empire's crumbling when gays and immigrants are used as diversionary issues to keep people from thinking about the pillaging of their country and their wallets actually taking place. And it works.

You know your empire's crumbling when people are getting more religious and less scientific, not the other way around.

You know your empire's crumbling when your political leaders start to be chosen by dynastic rules of succession.

And you especially know your empire's crumbling when the most idiotic child of one of the least accomplished leaders in its history is not only crowned as the next emperor, but is even revered for a time by most of the public as a great one.

Rome? Britain? Spain?

At this rate we'll be lucky to end up like Belgium.

I never was a cornflake girl
thought it was a good solution
hanging with the raisin girls...

I'm a raisin girl, yo~

In other news... for S&G, I took the Mensa Workout test again. I almost joined a decade ago but decided against it. My math skills are where I failed, as they are rusty and I haven't had to think in algebraic terms in years, but this is what I got:


Your score was 26 out of 30. That is a very good score—you would have a good chance of passing the Mensa test.

Please note that the Mensa Workout is NOT the official Mensa test,and your score will not qualify or disqualify you for membership.

Yes, it are true. I had a craving, I had a Stouffer's personal lasagna in the fridge, so... I love being an adult sometimes. Hee.

I forget how hilarious andpuff's Confederation novels are. Good, crunchy space marines sci-fi, and an accurately hilarious look at life from the perspective of a senior NCO. Stuff like "the care and feeding of twoie looies" and commentary about the inherent insanity of "vacuum jockeys". She of course works in the classic reasons for why an NCO refuses commission. "Number one: I work for a living. Number two: my parents were married."

And now I'm currently being weirded out, again, by the fact that Snoop Dogg has apparently gone country. With the help of Willie Nelson.

So yeah... been taking pictures of my eye and application lately, and my Mom wants me to make a portfolio to send to an agency to be a "parts model". It sounds morbid, but it's quite common. You see ads all the time featuring hands, teeth, lips, noses, eyes, hair, etc. without seeing the body or full face. I did modeling for 2 years overseas and to be honest, I've no desire to do it again. I had my time in front of the camera.

But I've taken photos anyway for several reasons. First of all, to document progress. I'm not used to colour on my eyes. I spent my first 2 years in high school in a convent school and makeup was not allowed, and I wore enough of it during photo shoots that I was happy to not wear any outside of work. The last 2 years of high school back here in the USA, I wore retro rockabilly: black cat-eye, red lipstick, blot powder everywhere else. Colour on my eyelids? Only when we were doing flag team/letterette performances for halftime shows or parades. Quite honestly I was too much in a rush to get to school for early morning drills with the flag team and band to fuss over my face, so this was all I needed. I spent my corporate 20s wearing neutral eyeshadow to work to help make me look older (thank you, corporate rat race), and then black inky, gothy colours on the weekends whilst clubbing with friends @ Sabbat, Therapy, Das Bunker, etc. Second, to document progress. I won't ever know how stupid I look unless I've got a photo to prove it. I know what works for me and what makes me look like ass.

So long story short, I'm a total noob at cool and fancy makeup. If I ever needed it before I had a makeup artist work my face. I've only ever done basics. Eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, I'm a fucking pro at. Everything else, I'm a 12 year old girl experimenting with Mom's makeup bag all over again.

On to the eye porn teaser:



Oh why oh why am I stuck with boring brown eyes?

So my new pet project is keeping it all organized, and flickr seems to be better than photobucket for that purpose. Flickr has alpha sort? Those words are sex to me right now. Anyway, here it is, all in one convenient link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/28583288@N08/sets/72157606117842595/

korby please get a towel, and try not to get it all over the keyboard. I <3 you bebeh.

Several weeks ago, after riding the highs of finding my man's best friend from 20 years ago (John) via Zabasearch and confirming it on MySpace, I decided to seek out other important people, but from *MY* past. The few people I keep in touch with from my glory days of Mira Mesa High School mean a lot to me, but there are so many more that I've lost touch with since graduation that did mean a lot to me and I feel like such a shitty friend for losing touch with them. More importantly, there are a handful of people I knew from my 2.5 year stay in the Philippines that I haven't been in touch with for over a decade, and these people shaped my life in such a noted fashion that I felt morally obligated to find them.

So my search began with trying to find Farah. She was my best friend while I was stuck in that convent Catholic school, and she was practically my sister.

( Follow the rabbit down the hole... )

Pardon the manner in which this was written, the only edits I made were to add a cut. I wrote this all out in choppy thoughts, and it's presented here in its full honesty.

Edited to update: My brother's profile page on some Filipino website: http://www.igma.tv/profile/richard-gomez
My Mother in a publicity photo from the 60s, taken a few months after my brother was born: Stella Suarez was her screen name

On speaker today at work...

I totally answered it: "Welcome to STARBUCKS, home of the happy hour, how can I help you?"

Yeah...

I haven't worked at Starbucks since 2006. And yet...DOH.

The people around me at work did a double take.

This morning I thought there was something funny in the pond but I forgot about it until I got home and saw it again.  It was another bird.  Hubby filled up the pond last night so either it happened yesterday and it was too dark for him to notice it or it died sometime between 8pm and 8am. This one looked like a younger bird.  I know our backyard trees don't have nests and I our neighbor would have mentioned it if their tree had one (because we talked quite a bit about the birds on our porch).

One fish and two birds.  I hope I don't find anything bigger!

Today McCain's economic advisor informed us all that we're not in a recession and that the real problem is we are all whiners.

Sounds like a skit from SNL, but it's not.

It seems that the sleep tonsandtons portion of the program has finished. I went to sleep just after 2:30 this morning, and got up feeling pretty refreshed at 6:15 or so. I will probably require a nap later today... I should say another nap, rather, since 3 hours and 45 minutes doesn't really qualify as anything but a nap.

I did a oops. For the first time in a long time, I overspent during a pay period and thus have nada left to spend this time. Ouch. I could go a month without paying on the loan since we're a month ahead, and depending on things, I may do that, or just go with a partial payment and make it up next month, to keep that cushion for when it's REALLY needed.

Hey, I'm up in the morning today, and actually have the time, so I may take the truck in for a slightly-overdue oil change.

On the evening of the 30th I found a dead bird floating in the pond.  The pond was really low on water - gee, could the high humidity have anything to do with it?  :)  This bird keeps floating but it's also moving around from the flow of the new water.  I keep thinking about it and it grosses me out.  For a very small moment I thought about telling my husband about it and leaving it for him to dispose of.  However, I get the fish net and a plastic bag.  The SMELL of rot almost made me gag.  

When I told hubby about it later he said that he took care of the dead mice in the old apartment so he was perfectly fine with me taking care of the dead bird.

This Monday another rejection arrived.  

I hope nothing bad or unpleasant happens on the 14th!

I wasn't expecting to do this today but I got an alarm system installed on my townhouse.  It's something I've been keeping in the back of my mind, one of those "need to take care of" type things but it wasn't high on the priority list.  I'd done some research into what it would cost and satisfaction ratings and what to watch out for and blah blah blah, but then the doorbell rang...

And well, the deal was too good to pass up!  And I got it in writing all the fees that they are waiving throughout the next 5 years and they installed the system same day.  I didn't have to do a thing.  Sweet.  One less thing to worry about!  Something just told me to go for it, hopefully I made the right decision.  And yes, it's with a brand I was familiar with.  =)

Now I just have to remember to use it.  I've never had an alarm system before.

I managed to sleep from somewhere around 8 am to about 2:30 am, so my July 8 was pretty much done for right there.

Hopefully, I've gotten my body back on track. Perhaps.

My daughter is a total geek.:)

Morgan cried all the way through the ending of MGS4. And was somewhat depressed for the rest of the evening.:) (For the worried, when things got graphic she was kicked out of the room.)

I just think it's cute that she got all emotional about it.

I am done with all of my chores today with the exception of dishes. I've gone to the bank and deposited my paycheck, I called Rent A Center and made a payment, called the kids' doctor and made appointments for their physicals and called my school and left a message with financial aid about child care assistance for Ivan. Now I'm just waiting for the woman to call me back.

Got the work thing tonight, but I'll have the next two days off.

Avenue Q is going to be here in couple of weeks. I had mentioned to Sean back in December that I wanted to go. Then we completely forgot about it. We remembered it a couple of days ago but figured it was too late. But we checked and there are still plenty of tickets left. And at really good prices too.

We're going to go as soon as we can finagle a sitter. We'd hoped to go to this Korean restaurant near there before the show, but it turns out it's closed down.

Then again, Morgan WAS only a couple of months old the last time we went there. *grin*

Here's My wordle, Its kind of sad Money and working are so big. At least Aaron on there :)


( Wordle )

I've ended up sleeping a lot lately. I stayed awake for around 20 hours, then slept, and have been trying to go back to nightowlishness since. I did a 12 hour deal or so the night of the 3rd (3pm to 3am, I think), then napped for two hours, then, after being utterly flattened by a mere 35-45 minute walk around in the sun — fairly well hydrated and with ample sunscreen! — went back to bed around 7n last night, slept until 2:15 this morning, then went back to bed around 9am and ended up sleeping until 6:30 this evening.

My theory is that since it's not the right time for me to be dealing with my monthly dose of wanting to sleep 40 hours out of 48, my body is attempting to fight off something nasty. If sleep is what it takes to do this, I'm all for it.